Here’s how it started. I was browsing through my own blog, kinda went through each and every post. Suddenly, I got this weird impression.. All my writings sound so.. cynical. Especially towards love (/romance/trust/loyalty/walking on the beach together. No, wait, I still believe in the latter). And I started to throw questions to myself. Is that it? Have I become a cynic now? That’s kinda strange, though, because I used to be this girl who believed in love (of all kinds, e.g., love at first sight, true and everlasting love, I-love-you-now-and-always-will). So, what happened? Have my Frame-of-Reference and my Field-of-Experience crushed the dreams I had when I was little? Or is this just a normal thing that happens to every adult?
But I don’t wanna be cynical, I wanna trust things, I wanna believe that my prince will come someday and swept me away (or at least believe that there’s a good guy out there, among the ocean full of jerks I meet every day). Do you think it has something to do with the fact that I grow older, you know.. that I’ve seen ‘the real world’? And how that world has made me the way I am now? Shit, is being a grown-up means that you have to act all skeptic and bitter? If not, then why do all grown-ups are like that? It’s like an unwritten rule: “Okay, now you’re a grown-up. Be one of us: stop messing around, be responsible, do your obligation, and start being cynical”. Eek, that scares the hell out of me.
*Sigh* Being cynical only can give you so much fun. Can’t I just be naive forever?
…
Yeah, didn’t think so either.
