I had the craziest party last night, and it’s impossible to give answer to anyone who asks me what I drank. It’d take me days to list all those liquids. Okay, I’m exaggerating. But it was a lot, really. And this morning, I woke up feeling like shit. Well, understandable. But as the sun crawls up the sky and time passes by, I’m feeling worse. It’s because I keep trying so hard to remember what happened last night.. but I just can’t. I don’t have a clue. Like the word tattooed on my friend’s arm: SKIP. That’s the perfect word. I skipped. I hate not remembering the things I did, or said. I’m just.. utterly lost. I really don’t know what kind of explanation I have to give to myself. Shit, why do I do these things? And in the evening, while drinking a cup of coffee and staring at the beach, it suddenly hit me. That’s just how I am. I can’t stop doing stupid things. Or don’t want to, to be exact. I keep looking for trouble, and if I don’t find one, I’ll create it. How fucked up is that?
What will grow quickly, that you can’t make straight
It’s the price you gotta pay
Do yourself a favour and pack you bags
Buy a ticket and get on the train
Buy a ticket and get on the train
Cause this is fucked up, fucked up
Cause this is fucked up, fucked up
People get crushed like biscuit crumbs
And laid down in the bed you made
You have tried your best to please everyone
But it just isn’t happening
No, it just isn’t happening
And it’s fucked up, fucked up
And this is fucked up, fucked up
This your blind spot, blind spot
It should be obvious, but it’s not.
But it isn’t, but it isn’t
…
(Black Swan – Thom Yorke)
