This is what I feel. Nothing.
I stopped crying hours ago, but then the tears came back, then I heard myself saying everything’s gonna be alright, then I tried to believe it, but then I saw pictures, heard ‘You’re All Over My Head’ and watched the ‘Beware of the Bird’ video, then I was on the verge of breaking down once again, so then I decided I had to tell someone, so I sent a text to my friend, but he hasn’t replied until now, so now I feel completely lost and hollow, but trying my best to be myself, just relax. It’s only going to be ‘8 weekends’, like you said. It does sound better than 2 fucking months. I just wish it’d be that easy. God, how I HATE goodbyes, though this isn’t one. But still, I know the first night is always hell.
So this is what I actually wanted to say. I missed you already. I miss the scent of you, I miss the way you stretch your arm to give me some space to lay my head down, hell, I even miss how Erinnyes always lost duels to Tezcatli. I want you to be here, or at least I could be there with you. But at the same time, I want you to go, ’cause I know you’d have a great time. And everything else doesn’t matter as long as you’re happy. I sincerely mean that. So I guess I just have to swallow the bitterness down my throat. (Trust me, this is even more bitter than that stuff we swallowed 2 nights ago.) :p
So yeah kiddo, I’ll be here..
